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Frog Jokes
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A
scientist was interested in studying how
far bullfrogs can jump. He brought a
bullfrog into his laboratory, set it
down, and commanded, "Jump, frog, jump!"
The frog
jumped across the room.
The
scientist measured the distance, then
noted in his journal, "Frog with four
legs - jumped eight feet."
Then he
cut the frog's front legs off. Again he
ordered, "Jump, frog, jump!"
The frog
struggled a moment, then jumped a few
feet.
After
measuring the distance, the scientist
noted in his journal, "Frog with two
legs - jumped three feet."
Next, the
scientist cut off the frog's back legs.
Once more, he shouted, "Jump, frog,
jump!"
The frog
just lay there.
"Jump,
frog, jump!" the scientist repeated.
Nothing.
The
scientist noted in his journal, "Frog
with no legs - lost its hearing." |
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There was a really cute princess walking
through the woods, and she heard a voice
calling, "Hey Really Cute Princess!"
She looked around and didn't see anyone
but a frog. She started to walk on but
the frog called again.
"Hey Really Cute Princess, if you take
me home and let me sleep on your pillow,
I will turn back into a Handsome
Prince!"
It had been a very boring day so she
decided to give it a try even though she
really didn't believe the frog.
The Really Cute Princess took the frog
home with her and let him sleep on her
pillow. When she got up the next day
what do you think she found?
There on her pillow sat a really
Handsome Prince.
Do you believe the story?
Well neither did her mother! |
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There once was a little frog who wanted
to take out a home improvement loan to
fix up his pad. His name was Kermit
Jagger.
He hopped over to his local bank, went
up to the teller and said, "Hi, I'd like
to take out a loan to fix up my pad."
The teller replied, "You need to see our
loan officer. Her name is Patricia
Black.
So the frog hops over to the loan
officer's desk and sits down. When
Patricia arrives she ask, "What can I do
for you?"
The frog says, "I'd like to take out a
loan to fix up my pad."
Patricia asked, "What do you have for
collateral?"
After thinking for a couple of moments
about what he could offer the frog
reaches into his little froggy pocket
and pulls out a small white elephant.
"This is a very unusual form of
collateral." said Patricia. "I'll have
to check with our bank president to see
if it's ok."
Patricia goes to the president and says,
"There's a frog named Kermit Jagger out
there who wants a home loan and this
white elephant is all he is offering for
collateral. What should I do?"
The bank president takes the small white
elephant and after carefully examining
it hands it back to Patricia and says:
"It's a nick-knack, Patty Black, give
the frog a loan. His old man's a Rolling
Stone." |
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Once upon a time, a beautiful,
independent, self assured princess
happened upon a frog in a pond.
The frog said to the princess, "I was
once a handsome prince until an evil
witch put a spell on me. One kiss from
you and I will turn back into a prince
and then we can marry, move into the
castle with my mom and you can prepare
my meals, clean my clothes, bear my
children and forever feel happy doing
so."
That night, while the princess dined on
frog legs, she kept laughing and saying,
"I don't think so." |
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A little girl walks up to her
grandfather and says:
"Grandpa, can you make a sound like a
frog?"
Grandpa says:
"Honey, why do you want me to do that?"
And the little girls says:
"Well, Daddy said that when you croak,
we all get to go to Disney World!" |
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Three frogs
walked into a bar, the fourth frog ducked.
Why are frogs so
happy?
They eat whatever bugs them!
What does a frog
wear on St. Patrick's day?
Nothing!
What's the
preferred car of frogs?
The Beetle.
What's green and
jumps?
A frog!! (groan!)
What's green and
red?
A very mad frog.
What's green
with red spots?
A frog with the chicken pox!
What's green
with bumps?
A frog with the measles!
What's black and
white and green?
A frog sitting on a newspaper.
What's green and
dangerous?
A frog with a hand-grenade.
What's white on
the outside, and green on the inside?
A frog sandwich!
What do you say
to a hitch-hiking frog?
Hop in!
What kind of
shoes do frogs wear?
Open toad!
What do frogs do
with paper?
Rip-it!
What happens
when you mix a frog with a bathtub scrubby-mit?
A rubbit!
Why did the frog
read Sherlock Holmes?
He liked a good croak and dagger.
What happened to
the frog's car when his parking meter expired?
It got toad!!
What do you call
a frog that crosses the road, jumps in a puddle, and
crosses the road again?
A dirty double-crosser!
What's green
green green green green?
A frog rolling down a hill.
What is a frogs
favorite time?
Leap Year!
Why did the frog
go to the mall?
Because he wanted to go hopping.
I was walking
down the alley one day and I saw a frog kicking a can.
I asked him what he was doing.
He said, "I'm moving!"
How can you tell
if a frog doesn't have ears?
You yell "Free Flies" and he doesn't come.
How do you
confuse a frog?
Put it in a round bowl and tell it to take a nap in the
corner.
How does a frog
confuse you?
When he comes out and says he needed that nap and feels
much better.
What do you call
a frog with no legs?
It doesn't matter- he won't come anyway.
What do you call
a frog with legs?
Dinner.
What did the
frog order at McDonald's?
French flies and a diet Croak
What does a
Romulan frog use for camouflage?
A croaking device!
What happened to
the cat and frog when they got run over?
The cat had nine lives, the frog just croaked.
Why did the frog
say meow?
He was learning a foreign language.
Why did the frog
go to the hospital?
He needed a "hopperation"!
What's red and
green and goes 175 miles an hour?
A frog in a blender.
What do you get
if you add milk?
Frog nog!
What happens if
you drink frog nog?
You Croak!
What do stylish
frogs wear?
Jumpers!
Why did the frog
go to the bank with a gun?
He wanted to robbit.
How can you tell
a frog doesn't have ears?
They don't move when a car is coming toward them.
What did the
frog do after it heard a funny joke?
It started to croak up! |
